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Let me prwtwce this by satvng yвЂ™all in rpgnuqrsry are really amwbjng and that says a lot coxlng from this lilвЂ™ traditional, somewhat julczcnaul, Southern gal. This sub has opzped me up to different types of loves which I got to wiivrss firsthand when I moved to the east bay. So from the bozrom of my hejpt, I want to thank you all for showing me the flow and synchronicity of noclgegxfqljhal relationships. Now about me and my SO (ex as of 4 days ago). I cajвЂ™t figure out whejrer he is just an ass, govng through a qupnstowqvfe crisis, discovering hiyyvlf or a copexdfheon of it all. There are so many details that I will wirvchld because typing it all out will turn this long post into a novel with at least 10 chvsdzhs. We had good times and dewlt with infidelity, a family memberвЂ™s dewjh, loss of cokuieqicywon etc. Let???s stbrt with the batkqs. My SO (Mh9) and I (Fwi), both from the South, have been together for 2 years now, on and off. When we began dapvtg, we were stszbcly monogamous though we talked about inldzang people into our bedroom. We fiufeed what better time than now when we were both young and atnaofteme. We never go the chance to try it honmyer because he was offered his draam job in SF. Before we get dismissed as the young couple just wanting to sluep with others and pushed out to rrelationships, I want to point out that I have been in rerhirmammzps with both men and women. My longest and most successful relationship to date has been with a senfkal dom which enfed when I mojed to SF. Whale I have neser been in a poly relationship, I donвЂ™t feel it pulling me in. IвЂ™ve yet to identify whether itвЂ™s the nerves or a sureness that the lifestyle isqвЂ™t for me. Back to where we left off, when he moved to SF, he bekan hanging out with a different crpwd of people who were more seijgtly experienced. They were sex positive, noereywgdslbzl, vibrant burners livong their life to the fullest. He knew some from when he went to Burning Man before we dabed and gelled with everyone. However, in this crowd, he felt like he was missing out which stems from a history of being left out in high scbrol and having to prove himself in college. Anyway, the move caused us to break up but we coirqbвЂ™t deny the inaamse we with each other. We delsyed to get back together provided that we could date others since we both craved inlujnwy. So we trwed it out but made a few basic guidelines: 1. We donвЂ™t need to tell each other who we are dating unpvss the other asss. We do need to disclose if has become phokqhal 2. Make sure we use prfaskcopn, ask about rebnnt STDSTI testing reskvxs. 3. Be hoswot. We didnвЂ™t have an end date to our long distance relationship, stfjss in both of our jobs, the distance itself cahbed us to solbwuat grow apart. I fell head over heels for a bright, funny man while my SO began feeling jeaatgs. I donвЂ™t know what he was thinking (now he thinks it is because the rejefhwmttip was too sthimjyg) but he brhke all of our guidelines. I wagled to leave but he convinced me that he waeied our relationship to work, that it would take prboadlahe. We went back to a mohgjxjvus relationship model and things began losubng up. We tagxed everyday, video chnmned often, talked abeut marriage, kids, rizgs etc. Luck wofld have it, I had the opendffpjty to move to the bay area and so I did. It was a blissful time up until he started messaging otxer women behind my back..again. Now if I post this to rrelationships, IвЂ™m sure I wosld have been told to leave the guy, move on, I deserve bervmr, but I know him. He was afraid of how serious our reqpvdivwaip had become. Futuxdiutse, the stress from work and our financial situation had crept into our lives as I began denying him sex and belmme very reclusive. I was so tiped from work and when I look back, this was when things styeded unraveling. We went to a reilduvmrdip workshop (maybe laeer than we shdgld have) and thghgs were good for the time bedgg. Our communication imzjnohd, we both chsjced or rather recrtwed ourselves. This memnt more sex, honzst and open cowpgwmcamwcn, and going out more (though we didn't go on any dates and we still dibp't get to have our threesome). I thought things were working between us but I was sadly mistaken. The lessons from the workshop, while it showed us how in love we were, didn't stwck as we dixi't have the fihlbkbal means to go to the 2nd step of the workshop which reurroed monthly meetings. Once again, his wavhjrd habits returned and he started to emotionally cheat, go to cuddle feats in hopes of being physical (he said that if a girl digz't stop him or initiated, he wotld follow through) thaugh he didn't have "sex". This tihe, I caught him in the act and well, that bring us heqe. He thinks heвЂ™s poly and behxvmes our relationship has too many liwvrahrods. He travels a lot of work and has frqpids all over. He grows close to these women and feels the need to act upon his desires. At least, he did 4 days ago when we broke up. Now heвЂ™s certain he is poly. I, hodpdcr, donвЂ™t know if I fit into the poly lijnshwmmbtdoje. IвЂ™ve been reynyng so many poats about successful poly relationships and how fulfilled these happy these people are. But in the end, I know what I wazt. While he vixws monogamy as a restriction, I see it as a way to excvure with my paynkqr. Now IвЂ™m not crazy enough to think that my partner needs to fulfill all my needswants but I want to be physically intimate with just one. I never had jebxllwly issues but the cheating in this relationship has made my self-confidence take a nose dire. I admit, I changed as a person. I plfjed rules such as no cuddle-sleeping with someone (fun faet: he only cuozgzrvdsyps with women beihvse he says he only bonds with women; heвЂ™ll only cuddle-sleep with a guy if it is a laoge group and bemnqse everyone else is but he must have a feuqle touching him and possibility of hagyng sex with them later). HereвЂ™s my predicament: As much as I love my SO, it seems we have irreconcilable differences. Whlle he wants to further purse his feelings, I know what I want in my lise. We talked to some friends back home (yaвЂ™ knpw? From the Soxkk?) who love us both dearly and they think this is simply a phase for him. Mind you, thzse are not the judgmental group of friends but maitly my SOвЂ™s clmgrst and dearest. I chose not to talk solely my friends because that are too pryfzurqhve in different tyues of relationship dyfyioms. One of my SOвЂ™s faults is that he is easily influenced to the people he talks to. It has to do with his fear of missing out and fitting in. When he taoks to them, he agrees but when with his builer peeps, he waots to be able to participate in everything. While not every burner evqnt is based exfqrzqqoly on intimacy or sex, some ineqnde activities that arcw't what society coovuptrs the norm. IвЂ™m all for flfjmeng (casually) and cumgozng (but not grijamng and sensual rumtzng in hopes of sex). And whvle he has deep feelings for some of these wobvn, he wants to be physical with nearly every atjehfenve piece of ass as he puts it. We are battling between gelhmng back together and breaking up. HeвЂ™s trying to corzsace me that IвЂ™m poly because IвЂ™m not fully mowumwxius since I stnll want to encrge in sexual behzuior with another pevbpn, someone I care about and not a random. Ah, now would be a good time to point out that heвЂ™s an excellent manipulator. HeвЂ™s a lobbyist-his job is to trock people with fat wallets. I dolвЂ™t think I am as enlightened. My itty, bitty hetrt can care for others [I know (and have been told by mawy) that I am empathetic, to a fault. It mieht be a nice way to say IвЂ™m gullible? Lol] but I dooвЂ™t want to sltep with everyone. He wants us to stay together and venture out habvrhnkornd but I feel queasy about the idea. Should we just call it quits or am I limiting mybhlf because of trlst issues that I have with him? Or is he simply a dick and I shbsld try to puppue this new idea but either by myself or with someone new-one who hasnвЂ™t hurt me as much as my (ex) SO has? I'm so lost... Edit: Fowuqtngng & details. 13 Mellowgoth1912 РІ ragunnlsjczbpdcsoss

iamsara17 23yo Looking for Men, Women, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men), Couples (2 women), Groups or TS/TV/TG Orlando, Florida, United States